


Make It Work Again

by michaelmxll



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/M, Jewish Jeremy Heere, M/M, Multi, Slow Burn, Trans Michael Mell, actually no, also, christine michael and jer are best friends, eating disorders implied, gonna talk abt some rough stuff, i think thats it, jer and michael are on the autistic spectrum, michael has adhd as well, this is from jeremy's pov so its gonna be kinda tough sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-02-08 12:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12864294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelmxll/pseuds/michaelmxll
Summary: [8:08pm] M: it just didn’t work out[8:08pm] J: i’m sorry[8:08pm] M: it’s not working out[8:08pm] M: you gotta make it work again[8:09pm] M: we gotta make it work again[8:09pm] J: i’m gonna make it work againMikhaOnlineMikhaLast seen today at 8:10pm***A post-Squip fic from Jeremy's POV, cause I haven't seen enough of those. Deals with fixing relationships and building new ones.





	1. Chapter One

One of the things that never leave is the fear of failure, especially after you’ve been abused by a supercomputer inside your brain for weeks, if not months. At least, that was Jeremy’s case, as he found himself worrying the entire first period when his teacher said they’re getting their grades at the end of the lesson. Normally, it didn’t worry Jeremy much, because the Squip knew basically  _ everything.  _ But now, when it’s not there anymore, he had to go back to studying by himself.

****

Not ideal.

****

Of course, he could’ve asked Michael, but he wasn’t sure his friend wanted to hang out with him. Whenever they did, Michael made sure to avoid Jeremy’s eyes. Christine, although smart, didn’t learn math with him, and he didn’t want to bother her. So he had to try himself, which didn’t really work out.

****

When he got his grade, right before he left the classroom, he could basically hear the Squip scolding him.  _ A C? After all the A’s you got? _

****

_ Dumbass. _

****

Jeremy shook his head, walking towards his second period class, making a mental note to ask Michael why he didn’t come to school later. Sitting in his usual seat in the back, he took out his books and mentally prepared himself for the class to start.

****

This was going to be a long day.

****

***

****

**_[9:08am] Mikha:_ ** _ hey _

**_[9:08am] Mikha:_ ** _ ditched today _

**_[9:08am] Mikha:_ ** _ should’ve told you earlier but i woke up last minute and i feel like crap _

**_[10:31am] Jeremy Heere:_ ** _ it’s cool. sorry, was in class. _

**_[10:35am] M:_ ** _ glad you’re actually trying to learn _

**_[10:35am] J:_ ** _ yeah tbh i kinda need to get back on track _

**_[10:35am] J:_ ** _ without the fucking squip telling me the answers i know nothing lmao _

**_[10:36am] M:_ ** _ good luck with that man _

**_[10:36am] M:_ ** _ ttyl i’m making food _

**_[10:36am] J:_ ** _ alright, bye dude _

****

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 10:36am _

****

***

****

The only good thing that happened to Jeremy that school day was Christine running up to him and hugging him after last period.

****

“Hey! I haven’t seen you all day, where have you been?” She asked when she pulled away, smiling at him. Jeremy felt his heart flutter as he smiled too, unable to help himself.

****

“Uh, I just kinda went right to class after each one. We don’t have classes together today.”

****

“We do have lunch, though.”

****

“Uh- Wasn’t really hungry. I’ll eat at home.”

****

“Hmmph. Fine.”

****

“I have a feeling you don’t trust me,” he said, still smiling slightly. She chuckled.

****

“Maybe I don’t. You gotta make me believe you.”

****

“I’ll send you pictures of me trying - and failing - to cook lunch. Deal?”

****

“Deal.”

****

He laughed, wrapping a hand around Christine’s shoulders. “Alright. Let’s get going.”

****

They started walking, Jeremy listening to Christine talk with a soft smile on his lips. Her bubbly voice lifted his mood up, and he felt like he could listen to her forever.

****

“- I mean, I really think it’s unfair, this was a question about what  _ we  _ thought, not what the  _ teacher  _ thought!”

****

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah. History, right? I hate this teacher.”

****

Christine huffed, looking aside for a short moment. Her eyes lit up. “Oh! How’s Michael doing? Haven’t seen him either. I mean, we don’t talk a lot, but he’s a really nice guy.”

****

“Oh, uh, he told me he’s not feeling well. I’m probably gonna check up on him later.”

****

She nodded. “Good idea. Tell him I hope he feels better soon, and if he needs someone to help him catch up with biology he can ask me.”

****

He nodded, smiling a bit. “Yeah, I will.”

****

They continued talking until they reached a turn. “Okay, I gotta go now. I’ll talk to you later!” Christine hugged Jeremy, kissing his cheek and turning to the left, walking away before Jeremy managed to react. He stood there for a short moment, grinning widely, his cheeks burning red. He started walking again, smiling the rest of the way until he got home. Opening the front door, Jeremy was met with a mostly quiet house, except the distant sound of the TV in his dad’s room, playing some Israeli show Jeremy never bothered to ask about.

****

“I’m home!” He yelled, throwing his bag aside, not bothering to go say hello to his dad in person.

****

Either he didn’t hear the reply, either there wasn’t one.  _ Oh well. _

****

Remembering what he promised Christine, Jeremy went to the kitchen, looking into the fridge to find something easy and quick to make. Nothing he really wanted.

****

“Moving to the cupboard,” he muttered to himself, continuing his search for something edible. He found some vegetable-flavored cup noodles.  _ Good enough.  _ He took out his phone and took a picture of the not-yet-ready noodles and the kettle.

****

**_[3:47pm] J:_ ** _ [photo] _

**_[3:47pm] J:_ ** _ [photo] _

**_[3:47pm] J:_ ** _ food! kind of _

**_[3:48pm] Chris, a local motek:_ ** _ … Good enough. _

**_[3:48pm] J:_ ** _ :D _

**_[3:48pm] C:_ ** _ >:c Have real dinner later! _

**_[3:48pm] J:_ ** _ fiiiiiine _

**_[3:48pm] C:_ ** _ :) _

****

**_Chris, a local motek_ **

_ Last seen today at 3:48pm _

****

Jeremy smiled, pouring the boiled water into his cup and waiting for the noodles to be ready. He scrolled through his social media, liking a new picture Michael posted. Nothing too special, just a slightly-edited, zoomed-in picture of his 3DS. And still, it was a pretty great picture, if someone were to ask Jeremy about it.

****

Taking the cup with him, Jeremy settled in front of the TV in the living room, turning on Discovery channel and beginning to eat his noodles. He only half paid attention, focusing on not burning his tongue instead. He did catch a sentence every now and then, but nothing really made sense out of context. Something about animals as the seven deadly sins.

****

He made a mental note to look that up later.

****

He thought Michael might like this, so he took out his phone and texted his friend.

****

**_[3:57pm] J:_ ** _ hey dude _

**_[3:57pm] J:_ ** _ there’s this really cool documentary on discovery rn about animals as the seven deadly sins _

**_[3:57pm] J:_ ** _ thought you might wanna know _

**_[3:58pm] M:_ ** _ oh yeah i’m watching it _

**_[3:58pm] M:_ ** _ it’s really cool _

**_[3:58pm] M:_ ** _ thanks for telling me anyway _

**_[3:58pm] J:_ ** _ no worries _

**_[3:58pm] J:_ ** _ btw _

**_[3:58pm] J:_ ** _ you feeling better? _

**_[3:59pm] M:_ ** _ oh yeah, mom came home early and bought me some painkillers cause i took the last one this morning _

**_[3:59pm] J:_ ** _ painkillers? _

**_[3:59pm] M:_ ** _ yeah man my period is a week early and i wasn’t expecting it which is why i didn’t go to school _

**_[3:59pm] J:_ ** _ crap. want me to come over with some chocolate and a slushie later? _

**_[4:00pm] M:_ ** _ uh yeah alright, thanks _

**_[4:00pm] J:_ ** _ don’t worry about it. i’ll text you when i’m close _

**_[4:00pm] M:_ ** _ mk, see you soon _

****

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 4:00pm _

****

***

****

A few minutes later, Jeremy was already outside, heading out towards the 7\11 on the way to Michael’s house, a smaller backpack on his back and earphones in. He was listening to some song Michael introduced him to, humming softly as he walked towards the shop. Truth is, he was kind of nervous about going to Michael’s. Yeah, sure, he went there all the time before the Squip, and even after that he went there like, once or twice, but it still felt weird. Like he wasn’t supposed to be there.

****

He put his hands in his pocket, playing with the chewy necklaces he put there. He bought new ones, and planned to give one to Michael, cause he knew how much the guy loved them. And still, he was outside, and he didn’t want to get caught chewing on it in public, so Jeremy just planned to put it on when he got to Michael’s.  _ No big deal. You can wait. _

****

He got into the shop a few minutes later, grabbing some snacks and drinks (and of course, Michael’s slushie) and heading towards the register. The entire trip took him around five minutes, which he was really grateful for, because he didn’t want to make Michael wait for too long.

****

After putting the snacks in his bag, Jeremy checked his phone as he headed out.

****

**_[4:20pm] M:_ ** _ 420 blaze it _

**_[4:22pm] J:_ ** _ oh my god _

****

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 4:20pm _

****

Jeremy chuckled, putting his phone back in his pocket and walking a bit quicker now. A few minutes away from Michael’s house, he felt his phone buzz.

****

**_[4:25pm] M:_ ** _ knew you’d appreciate it _

**_[4:25pm] M:_ ** _ also since it’s only me and mom now you can just come in without knocking, i’m in the basement _

**_[4:25pm] M:_ ** _ the freedom of living without my dad sure is one of the best stuff i got to experience _

**_[4:25pm] J:_ ** _ i’m glad your mom finally got the divorce she wanted, dude _

**_[4:26pm] M:_ ** _ trust me, so am i _

**_[4:26pm] M:_ ** _ you close? _

**_[4:26pm] J:_ ** _ yeah _

**_[4:26pm] M:_ ** _ okay, talk to you then _

****

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 4:26pm _


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after 12 years of friendship, sometimes it's the small stuff that make the biggest issues.

Jeremy got to Michael’s house a few minutes later, hesitating a bit before he just got in. The house looked a bit empty, he admitted to himself, but way nicer than when Michael’s dad still lived there. It was kind of messy, but it felt more natural than the squeaky-clean house they had before the divorce.

 

He smiled a bit and went down to the basement, knocking on the door. Michael’s muffled voice was heard from inside.

 

“Get in!”

 

Jeremy smiled a bit, opening the door. Michael was sprawled on the floor in his hoodie and some paint-stained sweatpants he had for a few years now. He looked up and grinned at Jeremy, but the other boy noticed he didn’t quite look at his eyes.

 

He tried not to let it get into his head.

 

“Hey, dude! How’re you feeling?” Jeremy asked, going towards Michael and sitting next to him. Michael took the slushie from Jeremy’s hand, sipping from it before answering.

 

“Better. Thanks for the slushie, Jer. Really appreciate it.”

 

He smiled a bit. “No problem. I also got snacks and more drinks. Oh! And this!”

 

“This?” Michael’s eyebrows furrowed as Jeremy reached into his pocket, taking out the two chewy necklaces he got. One of them was still in the bag. Michael’s eyes lit up.

 

“I got two new ones! And one of them for you. I know how much you love those.”

 

The other boy grinned, taking the necklace that was still in the bag. “I.. Holy shit, man, thanks!”

 

He still avoided Jeremy’s eyes, looking at the necklace instead as he got it out of the bag, still smiling. He squished it slightly with his fingers before putting it on.

 

He finally looked at Jeremy’s eyes. “Thanks, dude.”

 

“No problem. I wanted a new one for a while, and.. Why not get one for my best friend?” The last part was a bit quieter, Jeremy not quite sure if he could still use the term.

 

Michael’s eyes shifted aside as he put his hood on, obviously trying to make it look casual. “I, uh.. thank you,” he muttered, taking the necklace and beginning to chew on it slightly. Jeremy looked down, cheeks heating up.  _ Bad move bad move bad move… _

 

“Uh, anyway! Snacks!” Michael spoke up, a bit too quick. “Video games too, if you wanna?”

 

“Uh, yeah, um- Sure! Anything specific you wanna play?”

 

“Apocalypse of the Damned?” Michael suggested, and Jeremy saw the corners of his mouth twitch.

 

“Oh,  _ hell yeah _ .”

 

They settled down, snacks and drinks in the middle as they started playing, returning to their regular chatter as the game progressed. Towards the end of the level, Michael finally put his hood down, hand moving through his hair.

 

Jeremy smiled a bit, sudden relief washing over him.  _ I didn’t fuck up too badly.  _ He turned his head back to the game when Michael half-yelled at him.

 

“Dude, you almost got killed!”

 

“Sorry, sorry! Got distracted!”

 

Michael chuckled, rolling his eyes and going back into the game, taking a few chips and stuffing all of them into his mouth at the same time. Jeremy laughed, getting back into the game.

 

***

 

Needless to say, they didn’t pass the level.

 

Michael groaned after their 3rd loss in a row, putting his controller on the ground next to him. “That’s it. I quit. Today’s not a good day for a victory.” He laid down on the ground, pulling his hood up before his head reached the floor. He chewed on his necklace, huffing slightly, and Jeremy chuckled a bit before he moved a bit closer.

 

“Well, there’s always tomorrow, right? We can try again.”

 

“Oh, uh,” Michael mumbled, looking anywhere but Jeremy. “I, um, don’t.. Don’t really feel like hanging out tomorrow. Sorry.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Michael still refused to look at him. “Sorry. It’s.. kind of a lot.”

 

“It’s okay, dude. Uh- what is? A lot, I mean.”

 

Michael stayed quiet for a few moments before answering. “Hanging out.”

 

“I.. oh.”

 

Michael sat up, hunching into himself. “It’s.. different. You know it.”

 

“I do, but-”

 

“Don’t,” he mumbled. “There’s nothing to say.”

 

Jeremy stayed silent, looking at Michael, who very obviously tried to avoid even looking at Jeremy’s legs.

 

“I’m sorry. You should probably go, it’s getting late.”

 

“It’s only, like, half past six-”

 

“I don’t feel well. Bye, Jer.” Michael got up, one hand on his stomach. “Not sure if I’m going to be at school tomorrow.”

 

Jeremy nodded weakly and got up. “Okay. Bye, Mikha.”

 

He took his stuff and started heading towards the door, turning back before he got out.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Michael didn’t answer, sitting on the floor again, chewing his necklace.

 

***

 

**_[7:21pm] M:_ ** _ sorry about earlier _

**_[7:21pm] M:_ ** _ you know how much i like hanging out with you _

**_[7:21pm] M:_ ** _ it’s just _

**_[7:21pm] M:_ ** _ weird _

**_[7:21pm] M:_ ** _ i guess _

**_[7:21pm] M:_ ** _ i think we should try slowly, this entire hanging out thing _

**_[7:22pm] M:_ ** _ it’s killing me but i keep feeling like i’m not wanted when i know i am _

**_[7:22pm] M:_ ** _ or at least i think i am _

**_[7:22pm] M:_ ** _ point is, it’s not working out like it did before _

 

**_Yermiah_ **

_ Last seen today at 4:26pm _

 

***

 

After Jeremy got back, he immediately went into his room, not bothering to go check if his dad is home. He felt like utter crap, so he just put his phone aside and binge watched cartoons until 8pm, when his dad knocked on his door.

 

“In,” he muttered, just loud enough for his dad to hear. The door opened, showing Mr. Heere standing there. Without his pants.

 

“I- Jeez, dad, I- Pants! I thought we settled it!” Jeremy said, looking aside as his cheeks heated up a little. “It’s not that difficult.”

 

“Hey, in my defense, I’m just out of the shower.”

 

“I can wear my pants right after the shower,” he murmured, staring at his legs. “You should be able to, too.”

 

His dad sighed lightly, not commenting on it. “When did you get home? Didn’t see you arrive.”

 

“Oh, like, an hour ago. Went right here. Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

A short silence.

 

“Oh, uh- I’m going to cook dinner. Anything you want?”

 

“I ate at Michael’s.”  _ Not exactly a lie.  _ “But thank you.”

 

“Hm.” His dad nodded. “Okay. If you end up wanting something after all, just tell me.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Mr. Heere ruffled Jeremy’s hair before he could argue, and left the room, leaving a frowning Jeremy alone to his thoughts.

 

***

 

**_[8:07pm] J:_ ** _ sorry, i didn’t see the messages. phone was in my bag. _

**_[8:07pm] J:_ ** _ and you are wanted, mikha _

**_[8:07pm] J:_ ** _ i’m sorry for making you feel like you aren’t _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Online _

 

**_[8:08pm] M:_ ** _ sorry for making you leave _

**_[8:08pm] M:_ ** _ i was getting overwhelmed _

**_[8:08pm] M:_ ** _ it just didn’t work out _

**_[8:08pm] J:_ ** _ i’m sorry _

**_[8:08pm] M:_ ** _ it’s not working out _

**_[8:08pm] M:_ ** _ you gotta make it work again _

**_[8:09pm] M:_ ** _ we gotta make it work again _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 8:09pm _

 

**_[8:09pm] J:_ ** _ i’m gonna make it work again _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Online _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 8:10pm _


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exhaustion, staying at home and talking to your best friend

Jeremy couldn’t sleep well that night. The guilt over everything that happened, mixed with a general bad mood, kept him up until 3am, leaving the boy with no more than three and a half hours of sleep. He was completely exhausted, and seeing Michael has texted him while he was asleep made him feel anxious.  _ Is he okay? Did I fuck up again? Did he need me to be there for him? Did I screw up again? I screwed up again I screwed up again I screwed up again- _

His second alarm rang, reminding him 5 minutes have passed.

Groaning slightly, Jeremy took his phone and took a deep breath before looking at the message Michael sent him.

 

**_[5:23am] M:_ ** _ not going to school. don’t bother asking why. _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 6:29am _

 

Jeremy started feeling even more anxious at this point. He  _ definitely  _ has something to do with this. He considered just staying in bed at this point, faking some sort of illness or a bad pain, knowing that if he goes to school he’s probably going to have a meltdown - if not two. He really didn’t feel like dealing with this today. He got up, throwing his blanket aside, hands shaking slightly from the cold.  _ It wouldn’t be so difficult to fake an illness,  _ he thought.  _ Just complain about a headache and say you want to throw up. Easy enough. _

He started going towards his father’s room, trying to walk as slowly as he could, hoping his dad believes him. Or at least doesn’t care enough to let him stay.

Both will work.

He opened the door a bit, just checking to see if his dad is even awake.

“Good morning,” his dad muttered, voice still groggy. He obviously just woke up.

“Hey,” Jeremy murmured, getting inside. He put a hand on his stomach for extra effect. “Uh, I- I’m not feeling very well,” he said, trying to be quiet and convincing enough. “I feel like I’m about to throw up, I.. I think I ate something bad at school, maybe. Can I please stay at home today..?”

His dad got up, looking slightly concerned.  _ Oh, so now he cares. _

“Is it that bad?” He asked, moving closer to check for temperature. “You’ve skipped quite a while, if you think a painkiller can solve it you should probably go.”

“I- I know, dad, but- I really don’t feel well. I don’t think I can.”

He nodded slightly, moving his hand from Jeremy’s forehead to his cheek. “No temperature. That’s good. Go to bed, I’ll get you tea.”

Jeremy nodded, looking down and walking back to his room, settling under the blanket. He took out his phone.

 

**_[6:46am] J:_ ** _ it’s cool, i’m not going either _

 

**_Mikha_ ** ****

_ Online _

 

**_[6:47am] M:_ ** _ oh _

**_[6:47am] M:_ ** _ you feeling okay? _

**_[6:47am] J:_ ** _ yeah, i’m skipping, can’t bother today. feel like if i go i’m gonna have a full-on mental breakdown _

**_[6:47am] M:_ ** _ fuck _

**_[6:48am] M:_ ** _ good idea though _

**_[6:48am] J:_ ** _ yeah _

**_[6:48am] J:_ ** _ might disappear for a while, i don’t want dad to know i’m skipping so i gotta look sick _

**_[6:48am] M:_ ** _ that’s fair _

**_[6:48am] M:_ ** _ text me when it’s safe _

**_[6:49am] J:_ ** _ alright _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 6:49am _

 

Jeremy put his phone aside, curling up under the blankets until he was comfortable enough to not move for the next few hours. He closed his eyes, not opening them until his dad entered the room, holding a cup of tea and a chocolate muffin.

“You should eat something small,” he said. “Even if you’re sick. Okay?”

Jeremy nodded slightly, sitting up. “Thanks, dad.”

Mr. Heere smiled softly. “Don’t worry about it, son. If you need anything, tell me.”

He nodded again, taking the tea and sipping a bit. Mr. Heere looked at him for a short moment before leaving the room, closing the door after him. Jeremy waited a few moments before taking his phone again, continuing to drink his tea.

 

**_[6:55am] J:_ ** _ back _

**_[6:55am] J:_ ** _ dad made me tea and got me a muffin _

**_[6:55am] M:_ ** _ good. eat it. _

**_[6:55am] J:_ ** _ fine _

 

Jeremy put the tea aside, taking the muffin instead. He took a picture of it.

 

**_[6:56am] J:_ ** _ [photo] _

**_[6:56am] J:_ ** _ so you won’t think i’m lying or something _

**_[6:56am] M:_ ** _ seeing a muffin that is, well, not fucking eaten, is not going to help me believe you _

**_[6:56am] J:_ ** _...good point _

**_[6:56am] M:_ ** _ i want proof you’re eating that _

**_[6:56am] J:_ ** _ do you like.. want a video of me eating it _

**_[6:57am] M:_ ** _ yeah okay sure _

**_[6:57am] J:_ ** _ it was a joke but okay _

 

Jeremy chuckled a bit, turning on his front camera and beginning to take a video of him taking a few bites.

 

**_[6:59am] J:_ ** _ [video] _

**_[6:59am] J:_ ** _ if i send a video of me eating the entire muffin it’s gonna take at least 3min _

**_[6:59am] M:_ ** _ .. fine. acceptable. _

**_[6:59am] J:_ ** _ :) _

 

He continued eating the muffin as he and Michael talked a bit about this new video game that’s supposed to come out soon, both boys avoiding any subject that can remind them of the last day. At one point Michael started replying slower, disappearing for longer periods of time.

 

**_[7:41am] M:_ ** _ hey man sorry i’m gonna go nap. didn’t sleep tonight _

**_[7:41am] J:_ ** _ it’s cool don’t worry _

**_[7:41am] J:_ ** _ sleep well, mikha _

**_[7:42am] M:_ ** _ talk to you later, dude! _

 

**_Mikha_ ** ****

_ Last seen today at 7:42am _

 

Jeremy put his phone aside, thinking for a moment before just settling comfortably under the blanket, deciding to sleep for a bit as well. He closed his eyes, drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

 

***

 

When Jeremy woke up, it was already noon, and he was met with two unread chats.

 

**_[8:03am] C:_ ** _ Hey! Guessing you’re not gonna come today? _

 

**_[11:15am] M:_ ** _ i am.. Awake _

**_[11:15am] M:_ ** _ i don’t like it can i go back to sleep _

**_[11:17am] M:_ ** _ mom said no _

 

Jeremy chuckled, deciding to answer Christine first - shorter response, plus, she was in class, so it’s not like they were about to have a conversation.

 

**_[12:07am] J:_ ** _ yeah, sorry i didn’t tell you. i felt really drained today, decided to skip. faked an illness and dad let me stay at home _

 

**_Chris, a local motek_ **

_ Last seen today at 10:19am _

 

He moved to the chat with Michael, smiling when he saw he was online.

 

**_[12:08am] J:_ ** _ sucks to be you lmao i can stay in bed the entire day _

**_[12:08am] M:_ ** _ i hate you _

 

Jeremy laughed a bit.

 

**_[12:09am] J:_ ** _ we both know it’s a lie _

**_[12:09am] J:_ ** _ anyway _

**_[12:09am] J:_ ** _ feel like maybe video chatting later? idk play some video games or shit _

**_[12:09am] J:_ ** _ i won’t survive the entire day if i continue to do nothing _

**_[12:09am] M:_ ** _ yeah alright _

**_[12:10am] M:_ ** _ not now though _

**_[12:10am] J:_ ** _ mk _

**_[12:10am] M:_ ** _ thanks _

**_[12:10am] M:_ ** _ like.. you know there’s a reason why i skipped today _

**_[12:10am] J:_ ** _ i mean yeah obviously _

**_[12:10am] M:_ ** _ i’m just really tired _

**_[12:10am] J:_ ** _ it’s okay _

**_[12:11am] J:_ ** _ don’t worry about it too much _

**_[12:11am] M:_ ** _ thanks _

**_[12:11am] M:_ ** _ ttyl, food _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 12:11am _

 

Jeremy got up, putting his phone away. He took off his shirt and went to his closet, taking a sweater instead. He was about to take the empty tea cup and put it in the sink, but he saw it wasn’t there.  _ Dad probably took it while I was asleep.  _ He yawned, stretching a bit before he left the room, going to the living room. His dad was there, watching some movie in front of the TV. Fully clothed, to Jeremy’s relief.

“Hey, dad,” he murmured. Mr. Heere turned towards him.

“Hey. You feeling better?”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, a bit.”

“That’s good. Slept well?”

He nodded again.

“Okay. Are you hungry?”

“A bit,” he admitted. “Is there something ready?”

“Uh.. I don’t think so. Want me to cook some eggs?”

“No, thanks, I’ll, uh, probably make myself a sandwich or something. Thank you anyway.” He went to the kitchen, not waiting for his father’s response. He took a slice of bread and spread some butter on it, not feeling like eating anything bigger. He may have faked the sickness, but he really couldn’t bother to actually make something. He’ll just have soup or something else later.  _ No big deal. _

Leaning on the wall, Jeremy bit into his food, staring at the floor as he ate. The silence around him reminded Jeremy exactly why he skipped today - it felt pressuring, every moment making Jeremy’s head feel heavier and heavier, and standing began to feel difficult. He forced the rest of the bread down his mouth and left the kitchen, not bothering to put the butter knife in the sink.

“I’m going to rest,” he muttered when he passed next to his dad, barely audible. “My head hurts.”

Going back to his room, he texted Michael he probably won’t be able to chat until late evening, getting under his blanket and staring at the ceiling. He ignored the buzzing from his phone, promising himself he’ll check on it later when he feels better. Closing his eyes, Jeremy tried to relax enough to fall asleep, the only thing keeping him awake being his aching head.

 

***

 

_ I don’t want to be here. _

Jeremy didn’t know why that was the first thought to pop into his head when he woke up, but it was loud and clear enough to keep him up even with his headache. He sat up, groaning slightly as he heard his phone buzz.

“I can answer that later,” he muttered, turning around a bit and falling face first into the pillow. Except his phone buzzed again. And another time. Jeremy whined, raising his head for a moment before he dropped back down. Another buzz.

He felt as if he was about to cry any moment.

Taking his phone, he whined again.

 

**_[2:32pm] M:_ ** _ hey dude i passed by but your dad said you’re asleep _

**_[2:32pm] M:_ ** _ text me back when you wake up _

**_[3:54pm] M:_ ** _ are you awake _

**_[3:56pm] M:_ ** _ i’m not doing super well _

**_[3:56pm] M:_ ** _ please answer _

**_[3:56pm] M:_ ** _ jeremy _

 

“Fuck.”

 

**_[3:57pm] J:_ ** _ i’m sorry i’m here are you okay?? _

**_[3:57pm] M:_ ** _ just said i’m not but thanks for asking anyway _

**_[3:57pm] M:_ ** _ stupid request time: please tell me i matter to you _

**_[3:57pm] J:_ ** _ you really matter to me, mikha _

**_[3:58pm] J:_ ** _ i’m so lucky to have you as my best friend _

**_[3:58pm] J:_ ** _ and i’m so sorry for making you doubt that _

**_[3:58pm] M:_ ** _ thanks _

**_[3:58pm] M:_ ** _ can i come over? _

**_[3:58pm] M:_ ** _ please _

**_[3:59pm] J:_ ** _ i’ll ask dad rn _

**_[3:59pm] M:_ ** _ thank you _

 

**_Mikha_ **

_ Last seen today at 3:59 _

 

Jeremy left the room, trying to ignore his aching head as he went to search for his dad. He found him cooking in the kitchen.

“Hey, uh, dad?”

Mr. Heere turned around. “Oh, hey, Jeremy. Michael came over earlier-”

“Yeah, I know, uh.. I wanted to, like, ask- Can he come over now?”

“You feel better?”

Jeremy nodded. “I do. I’m gonna take a painkiller for my head, but, like.. I feel better.”

“Okay,” Mr. Heere said, nodding slightly. “That’s good. Tell him he can come over.”

“Thanks, abba.” Jeremy forced a smile and hurried to his room, typing Michael a message and beginning to tidy his room when Michael told him he’s on his way.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt. Forgiveness. Comfort.

Less than 30 minutes later, Michael and Jeremy were already sitting on Jeremy’s bed, heavy silence surrounding them. Jeremy noticed Michael avoided looking at him directly, but he also saw his gaze fixed up on the mirror on his wall, where half of their reflection was seen. Michael looked away when he saw Jeremy caught him.

 

“I’m sorry I asked to come over so suddenly,” he murmured, staring at the floor. “I just didn’t want to stay alone anymore.”

 

“It’s okay. What even happened?” Jeremy asked, inching a bit closer, his voice soft. “You can talk to me.”

 

“I told you, didn’t I?” Michael asked, looking at the mirror again. “I’m pretty sure I did. Like..” he sighed. “Fuck. I’m not doing fine. I’m pretty sure I did tell you, that, uh, I don’t- Shit, um, I don’t feel.. Really…  _ Wanted,  _ I guess.” He sighed. “I know it’s stupid, you don’t need to tell me.”

 

Jeremy shook his head. “It’s not stupid. Really. I.. it makes sense.” Both stayed quiet for a short moment, trying to collect their thoughts. “And.. I’m so sorry that it does. I’m so sorry I made this happen.”

 

Michael looked away, biting his lip.

 

“Mike?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” he muttered, still refusing to look at him. The heavy silence returned, giving place to Jeremy’s thoughts that raged in his brain, hurting, as if they were having a real fight and Jeremy’s brain was their battlefield. He looked up at his friend, heart dropping. Michael was hunched forward, hugging his knees tightly as he stared at a spot on the ground.

 

Suddenly, Jeremy sat up, his eyes lighting up. “Mikha?”

 

Michael shifted a bit, still hunched down. “Hm?”

 

He smiled a bit. “Tistakel alay.”

 

Michael looked away, trying to be casual about it as he shifted a bit in his seat.

 

“Miiikhaa,” he tried again, moving a bit closer with a silly grin on his face. “Kadima. Tistakel alay.”

 

His friend huffed, obviously struggling as he opened his mouth to speak. “L.. Lo.. ro.. Rossa.”

 

Jeremy burst into laughter. “Oh- oh my God- First of all, it’s  _ rotza,  _ but-” he laughed again, trying to stop. “-but in your case, it’s  _ rotze. _ ”

 

“Whatever! You got it anyway!” Michael complained, crossing his hands, avoiding Jeremy’s stare. Now, though, it looked more like a game to Jeremy, as if Michael only did it to tease him.

 

He moved closer again, giggling as Michael tried to get away. “Mikha, kadima!”

 

“Lo rosse.”

 

“Rotze.”

 

“Same shit!” Michael couldn’t stop a weak chuckle escaping his mouth.

 

“Tistakel alay.”

 

He shook his head.

 

“Tistakel alay,  _ Mikhael.” _

 

“Oh my God, you just crossed a line!” Michael looked up, his expression half betrayed half amused.

 

“You finally looked at me!”

 

_ “Shit!” _

 

Jeremy started laughing again, dropping on Michael’s shoulders from behind, feeling them shake as Michael broke into laughter as well, leaning forward. They stayed like that until both of them relaxed enough, tiny smiles still on their faces. Michael turned towards Jeremy, looking at him for a short moment before basically  _ jumping  _ at the boy, hugging him tightly. Jeremy squealed, trying not to fall down.

 

“Oh my  _ God,  _ Mikha!”

 

Michael laughed, burying his face in Jeremy’s sweater. “Whoops.”

 

Jeremy giggled in response, hugging him back, hand moving to play with his hair. “Your hair has grown a bit,” he mumbled. “It’s softer now.”

 

“Do you like it?”

 

Jeremy nodded. “It’s nice. Kind of like a cat.”

 

Michael chuckled. “As you say, I guess.”

 

“I missed this.”

 

“Missed what?”

 

“Hanging out with you. Actually acting like best friends. Feeling free next to you.”

 

Michael stayed quiet for a short moment before hugging Jeremy even tighter. “Yeah. I missed it too.”

 

When Jeremy pulled away, he saw Michael's cheeks turned red. Before he could decide if he should ask him if he’s okay or not, Michael jerked up. “Let's play video games.”

 

“Uh, yeah, sure!” Jeremy grinned. “I don’t really feel like something difficult now, though.”

 

Michael nodded. “Yeah, good point.” He bit his lip, thinking. “Uh… Okay, the easiest one I can think of is Life is Strange.”

 

“Hell yeah! Haven’t played it in ages!”

 

“Bae over Bay, though. We ain’t saving the town.”

 

“..Fine.”

 

Michael grinned, chuckling. “Good.”

 

***

 

“By the way,” Jeremy asked, around 30 minutes into the game. “Didn’t ask you earlier. You’re gonna go to school tomorrow?”

 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Mom says I shouldn’t stay at home anymore since I skip a lot."

 

Jeremy nodded. “Okay.”

 

“You’re not skipping tomorrow, right? Don’t feel like being alone and we share most classes tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah, I’m going tomorrow as well. Wanna walk together?”

 

Michael nodded, finally turning towards Jeremy. “Yeah, sure. I mean, I  _ can  _ drive us there, but if you wanna walk....”

 

Jeremy shook his head, leaning on the pillow he sat on. “Drive. I don’t really wanna walk.”

 

He rolled his eyes, chuckling. “Of course.”

 

Jeremy punched his arm softly, giggling and looking back at the screen, continuing to play the game as Michael watched and waited for his turn - every five choices they’d switch who’s playing. Every once in a while he took a look at his best friend, smiling softly. He looked way more relaxed than earlier, and seeing him so calm made Jeremy feel at ease as well. He paused the game.

“Mikha?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thanks for coming over.”

 

Michael smiled a bit. “Thanks for letting me come over, I guess.”

 

“I mean.. Like.. The fact that you even  _ want  _ to come over. It’s.. Not as obvious as it used to be.”

 

“Jesus Christ, you’re such a sap,” Michael laughed, but his cheeks were tinted pink and his smile turned into a grin.

 

Jeremy blushed as well. “Look, I almost ruined everything. Can’t I just be glad that, after this, I still have my best friend?”

 

“Your..” Michael smirked. “ _Besht fwiend_?”

 

“I take it back!” Jeremy shoved Michael, who burst into laughter. “I take it back!”

 

“You wove me!”

 

“Fuck you!” Jeremy flipped Michael off, making the other boy laugh even more as he wrapped his hands around Jeremy’s neck.

 

“Admit it, you woooove meee!”

 

“No, fuck you!”

 

“C’moooon, Jer!”

 

“Lekh lehizdayen.”

 

Michael let out a fake, dramatic gasp.  _ “I trusted you.”  _ Now it was Jeremy’s turn to laugh as he pulled away, huffing.

 

“Mikha-”

 

“Apologize.”

 

“We both know I’m not going to.”

 

“Ugh,  _ fine.”  _ Michael groaned, but he had a tiny, silly smile on his face, which made Jeremy grin. The positive aura around Michael was captivating, and Jeremy noticed that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop smiling.

 

“Now, let’s continue the game, I wanna get to the gay parts.”

 

Jeremy chuckled, unpausing the game, taking a last glance at Michael before turning towards the screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATIONS:
> 
> Tistakel alay - look at me  
> Kadima - c'mon  
> Lo rotza - [i] don't want [to], feminine  
> Lo rotze - [i] don't want [to], masculine  
> Lekh lehizdayen - go fuck yourself
> 
>  
> 
> i really like this chapter and i hope you guys too! if you did please leave a comment, they mean the world to me <3


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before school shenanigans.

The next morning, Jeremy woke up a bit later than he planned - leaving him with basically no time to think. He wore his usual cardigan over a random shirt he found - making sure it isn’t too embarrassing, first - and jeans, running to wash his face. He had precisely 15 minutes before Michael should arrive to pick him up, and he didn’t want to make his friend wait, which is how he found himself running around the house, trying his best to not trip over all the mess in his way.

 

“Boker!” he half-yelled towards his dad as he hurried towards the kitchen, 5 minutes left to prepare food and eat it before Michael arrived.

 

Yeah, he knew Michael wouldn’t come by _exactly_ when he said he would - traffic is a thing, after all, and Michael also needed to get ready - but Jeremy wanted to be ready anyway. He poured himself a glass of milk and some oreos, eating two of the four cookies and chugging the milk. He closed the cookie pack, shoving it in his pocket and making a mental note to give it to his friend. He felt his phone buzz.

 

**_[7:35am] C:_ ** _Hey <3 You’re coming today? _

 

Jeremy smiled, typing out a reply.

 

**_[7:35am] J:_ ** _yeah! michael’s picking me up in a few minutes actually_

**_[7:35am] C:_ ** _Sweet! We all share the first lesson, right?_

**_[7:36am] J:_ ** _yeah_

**_[7:36am] J:_ ** _meet you next to the classroom? i’ll tell you when we’re close to the school_

**_[7:36am] C:_ ** _Sure, I’ll see you soon <3 Say hi to Michael from me! _

 

**_Chris, a local motek_ **

_Last seen today at 7:36am_

 

He grinned, putting his phone back in his pocket as he went to the living room, waiting for Michael to arrive, bag already on shoulders. A few minutes later he heard a knock and jumped up, going to the door and opening it, seeing a grinning Michael. “Hey.”

 

“Hey.” Jeremy grinned. “Let’s go?”

 

Michael nodded. “Hell yeah. Passing through 7\11 first, though.”

 

Jeremy laughed. “Alright, whatever. You’re the one who’s gonna freeze. Lemme just tell my dad I’m leaving.”

 

Michael nodded and leaned on the door, waiting for Jeremy as he went to his dad’s room and told him he’s heading out. When he returned, he took out the cookies from his pocket and threw them at Michael. “Think fast!”

 

Without even thinking, Michael caught the cookies.

 

He chuckled. “Impressive, Mell. C’mon, let’s go.”

 

Michael grinned, heading out of the door and getting into his car. Jeremy locked the door and got into the passenger seat. “Alright, 7\11 and then school.”

 

“Okay. Christine will meet us before class, by the way. Oh! And she said hi.”

 

He smiled a bit. “Nice. We should hang out more. Like, the three of us.”

 

“We really should.”

 

Michael started the car. “Yo, Jer, turn on some song, yeah? You know my phone password.”

 

Jeremy did as he was asked, scrolling through Michael’s music library until he decided to turn on Alex Lahey’s music. The other boy grinned when he heard the familiar guitar intro, beginning to bop his head to the rhythm.

 

_“All I want is to have cleanskin wine and watch Mullholand with you..”_

 

Jeremy sang quietly under his breath, a soft smile on his face. He looked at Michael, seeing the other boy was humming as well, smile wide. As they reached the chorus, both of them were singing audibly, horribly out of key.

 

_“You don’t think you like people like me, I know I’ve heard this one before. Maybe I’m the one exception that can last forever, but that can only happen if you let us be together-”_

 

“You don’t think you like people like me!” Michael sang loudly, cheeks slightly pink and smile even wider than before. Jeremy knew he loved this song, and definitely managed to relate to it more than Jeremy did. He smiled too, looking at Michael who returned the glance and started laughing.

 

“We’re terrible at this.”

 

“It’s because it’s still early, Mikha. I blame the morning. We can sing!”

 

“Kinda.”

 

“..Kinda.”

 

Michael laughed again, pulling into the driveway of the 7\11. “Alright, just wait in the car. I’ll get you something.”

 

“No, c’mon, you don’t have to-”

 

“Shut up, I’m doing it.”

 

Jeremy groaned. “Fine. Get me some coke or something like that.”

 

Michael nodded and exited the car, leaving Jeremy alone with the music. He hummed softly, smiling as the song continued and moved on to the next one.

 

_“I stayed in the shower to avoid doing some useful shit..”_

 

He closed his eyes, pulling his legs up as he continued singing quietly, his voice growing louder and more confident as he kept singing. He may have been alone, but it’s a thing he couldn’t stop - he always started singing quiet. Always a bit nervous. Never wanting to be caught.

 

“You’re on my mind, and you’re all mine, you’re the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had…”

 

He didn’t notice Michael looking at him from one of the windows in the back. Didn’t notice the way his cheeks heated up, how his smile looked a bit sad. The look in his eyes, longing for something he was sure he’d never get. How he took a deep breath before going to the front of the car, opening the door.

 

“Nice voice. But you already know that.”

 

Jeremy jumped up, almost hitting his head as he did. “I- Uh- I mean- Gyuh-!”

 

Michael started laughing, getting into the car. “Oh my God, dude, relax. It’s just me.” He passed Jeremy a can of cherry coke. “And you know I love how you sing.”

 

Jeremy’s face was completely red. “I- uh- thanks, man. Both for the compliment and the drink.”

 

Michael grinned, sipping from his slushie before he started driving, glancing at his friend who was still blushing. He hummed, moving his head with the song as he drove.

 

“Tell Christine we’re on our way,” he said at one point. “She wanted to meet us, right?”

 

Jeremy nodded, taking out his phone and texting Christine, smiling as he did.

 

“Okay, she’s gonna wait for us outside in the parking lot,” he said eventually, putting his phone aside. “So we could walk together to class.”

 

Michael smiled slightly and nodded, concentrating on the road. “Alright.”

 

Jeremy looked at him for a short moment before sipping from his drink, glancing forwards. “We’re getting close.”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“I don’t want that.” Jeremy’s voice dropped almost to a whisper, more frustrated than upset. “I could really use a break.”

 

“God, same. But it’s the winter holidays soon, so.. At least there’s that?” Michael tried to cheer him up. “And if I remember correctly, Hanukkah and Christmas don’t clash this year, so I’m free to celebrate with you and your dad.”

 

Jeremy smiled, nodding. “Yeah! God, I can’t wait.” The anxiety seemed to fade away at the mention of the holidays, excitement replacing it almost immediately. “I want to try and make my own sufganiot this year, actually.”

 

“Oh my God. Let me guess - you’re gonna test them on me?”

 

“Of course, man. I mean, if you want to, of course-”

 

Michael laughed, slowing down a bit as they approached the school. “Dude, of course I want to. I mean, yeah, you once made those really salty chocolate pancakes-”

 

“Let me live that down!” Jeremy whined.

 

“-But you’re not that bad with baking, Jer.”

 

“I accidentally put salt into the pancake batter _one time_ and no one ever forgets it.”

 

Michael started laughing, pulling into the parking lot. “Yeah, no, I’m not letting you live this down.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

“No you don’t.”

 

Jeremy flipped Michael off, making the other boy laugh again. “Whatever you say, _Mikhael._ Where’s Christine?”

 

Michael shoved him slightly, grabbing his slushie from the cup holder and opening the door. “I dunno. Should be-”

 

“Here!” Christine jumped forward, seemingly out of nowhere, laughing when Michael lost balance and fell into the car again.

 

_“Jesus fucking Christ-!”_

 

Jeremy laughed, getting out of the car and high-fiving Christine as Michael muttered some quiet curses - and yet, he was unable to stop the smile that crept to his face. Jeremy grinned as Christine laughed and hugged him.

 

“You’re lucky you didn’t spill my slushie,” Michael said as he got up, closing the car door. “That would be an unforgivable crime.”

 

“Damn, I sure am glad I didn’t do that,” Christine answered, smiling as Michael pulled her into a quick hug. Jeremy smiled, looking at them quietly. School was horrible, but it felt way better with those two by his side. Life felt way better with those two by his side.

 

“Anyway, let’s get to class!” Christine said, grabbing Jeremy’s hand. “We can talk more after we sit down.”

 

“Except I sit in the front,” Michael commented.

 

“Crap, right.”

 

He chuckled softly. “It’s no big, I’ll just stand next to you guys until the lesson starts.”

 

She nodded, beginning to walk. “Good idea.”

 

Jeremy intertwined their fingers, smiling softly to himself as Michael began walking too, letting Jeremy walk in the middle as they headed to class.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boker - morning
> 
> we're heading towards,,, actual plot  
> please comment if you liked it <3 it means the world to me


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you two free today?” Christine asked as Michael drove them home. “Like.. Around 5pm?”
> 
> Michael nodded. “I mean, I am.” He looked at Jeremy. “And you?”
> 
> “Uh.. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I am. Why?”
> 
> “Cause I want all of us to hang out, of course?”
> 
> “Oh, uh- Yeah, makes sense.” Jeremy looked down in embarrassment, cheeks tinted red. Christine put a hand on his knee, the simple touch managing to calm him down.
> 
> “So I’ll just text the both of you when I get home, yeah? I know this really cool diner that isn’t super popular, for some reason, and there’s a small skating rink near as well.”
> 
> Michael’s eyes lit up, which made Christine smile. “I’m guessing that’s a yes from you, yeah?”
> 
> “Yeah!” He nodded. “Sounds perfect.”
> 
> Jeremy nodded as well. “Yeah, sounds great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait! ive been going through some stuff and it's just not my first priority rn, hope you understand. but ya boy started therapy so it's gonna get better!

Jeremy almost fell asleep during the first lesson. After the usual embarrassment of name reading, he just didn’t feel like listening, especially during history. Who even listens in history?

 

Christine does, apparently, because she was the one that threw papers at him until he put his head up. And so does Michael, who excitedly discussed the lesson with Christine, ignoring Jeremy’s look of boredom. 

 

“I have calculus now,” Jeremy complained. “Don’t make it even worse by discussing history. Especially with the fact Christine learns calculus with me.”

 

“You like history, you liar.”

 

“Not  _ school  _ history, Michael.”

 

“Hmmph. Fine. Just because I pity you.” 

 

Jeremy tried to punch him, but Michael dodged the hit, laughing as Christine gave him a thumbs up. 

 

“Get to class, you fucking nerd,” Michael said, laughing. “Meet me after it.”

 

“Fine, fine. See you after hell ends.”

 

Christine grabbed Jeremy’s hand, waving slightly towards Michael as he smiled and put his headphones on, heading to his class.

 

***

“Are you two free today?” Christine asked as Michael drove them home. “Like.. Around 5pm?”

 

Michael nodded. “I mean,  _ I  _ am.” He looked at Jeremy. “And you?”

 

“Uh.. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I am. Why?”

 

“Cause I want all of us to hang out, of course?”

 

“Oh, uh- Yeah, makes sense.” Jeremy looked down in embarrassment, cheeks tinted red. Christine put a hand on his knee, the simple touch managing to calm him down.

 

“So I’ll just text the both of you when I get home, yeah? I know this really cool diner that isn’t super popular, for some reason, and there’s a small skating rink near as well.”

 

Michael’s eyes lit up, which made Christine smile. “I’m guessing that’s a yes from you, yeah?”

 

“Yeah!” He nodded. “Sounds perfect.”

 

Jeremy nodded as well. “Yeah, sounds great.”

 

“I’m the one that drives around here, so I guess I’ll pick both of you up. Hope you know the exact place of this diner, cause I don’t feel like wasting fuel,” Michael said.

 

She nodded. “Yeah, I’ll text you the exact location.”

 

Jeremy stayed quiet as they talked, slightly nervous about cutting them off. Like, sure, Christine is his girlfriend, and Michael has been his best friend for twelve years, but…  _ they’re getting along so nicely. I don’t want to ruin this. _

 

“Jer?” Michael asked, obviously for the second time already.

 

Crap.

 

“I- Uh- what? Sorry, I, um, sort of zoned out.” He chuckled nervously. “Sorry. Again.”

 

“It’s okay. You feeling fine? You seem sort of sick.”

 

“Oh, uh- Yeah. Just thinking a bit.”

 

“About what, zombie puppies? Like, Jesus, man, I know how nervous you usually are -” Michael’s voice softened up at this point, a bit quieter, “- but this seems worrying.”

 

“It’s fine.” He smiled weakly. “Really.”

 

Michael nodded, not entirely convinced. Christine squeezed his hand. “You can tell us if it’s not.”

 

Jeremy nodded slightly. “Yeah. Thanks, Chris. But I’m okay.”

 

They continued talking, Jeremy making sure to join the conversation as well. It felt forced - it  _ was  _ forced - but it seemed to make Michael and Christine happy, and Jeremy would do anything to make them happy. So he forced a smile and a cheerful tone, trying his hardest to listen to the conversation and actually remember it.

 

After some time, when they reached Christine’s house, she kissed Jeremy goodbye and left the car, leaving him and Michael alone. Michael dropped the smile, pulling his hoodie up and looking down as he took his chewy necklace from under his shirt. He started biting it. Jeremy moved to the front seat, next to Michael.

 

“Mikha?” He asked, worry sipping through his voice. “Something’s wrong?”

 

“I’m fine. You’re the one who we should worry about.” He looked at him, his necklace dropping on his shirt. “What happened earlier? Christine isn’t here, and.. Fuck, as your best friend, at least let me know the truth. Don’t lie and say it’s fine. I understand why you’d want to keep quiet around her, but… Please not with me.”

 

Jeremy gulped. “It’s nothing. I mean.. It’s  _ something,  _ but it’s really stupid.”

 

“I’ve been here through your emo phase, Jeremy. Nothing can be worse.”

 

The remark made Jeremy laugh. “Okay, yeah, true. I, uh- I just didn’t want to bother you guys. You, um, seemed to get along really nicely. I didn’t want to, like- Ruin it, y’know?” He looked up at Michael, his eyes wide with worry he couldn’t stop, no matter how much he tried.

 

“Woah, Jer, it’s fine! Really. You shouldn’t worry about bothering us. You’re not a bother.” He put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, the other boy looking down.

 

“And yet, I worry anyway,” he muttered in response. “It’s, uh, kinda useless to tell me not to worry.”

 

“Sorry. Look, it’s just.. You’re not a bother. Promise.”

 

Jeremy smiled weakly, staring at the road as Michael started driving again. There wasn’t a point to turn on music, since they were moments away from Jeremy’s street, but Jeremy took Michael’s phone anyway, unlocking it and going into Michael’s music app.

 

“AJR?”

 

“Yeah, man. Started listening to them some time ago. A bit before Halloween.”

 

“You never told me about them.”

 

“You never really seemed interested.”

 

This shut Jeremy up. He turned on shuffle for their songs, glancing at a now-smiling Michael. 

 

“ _ Hello, hello, _ ” he started singing quietly, letting Jeremy listen to the actual song - which, sure, he appreciated, but he also loved listening to Michael sing. Jeremy moved his head along to the rhythm, trying to figure out the words to the chorus.

 

“What’s the song called?” He asked, looking at Michael, who glanced at him for a quick moment before returning his eyes to the road in front of him.

 

“Sober Up. A favorite of mine, actually.”

 

“Huh.”  _ You never told me that. _

 

Michael nodded, slowing down as they reached Jeremy’s street. He parked in front of his house.

 

“Talk to you later, man.”

 

Jeremy nodded. “Mhm. See you at five.”

 

Michael smiled slightly and waved at Jeremy, who left the car. He waved back as Michael started the car again, beginning to drive towards his place. Jeremy sighed lightly and entered his house, throwing his bag aside, not bothering to go search for his dad as he went to his room, laying on his bed until he had to go get ready.

 

***

 

“Four thirty-five. Get up.”

 

_ Can’t. _

 

Jeremy was stuck in a battle with himself, knowing he  _ should  _ get up, but not having the energy to do so. If it was just him and Michael, they could’ve met up at Jeremy’s house - but Christine said she knows a place, and he didn’t want to ruin her’s and Michael’s night.

 

“Get up.”

 

He groaned, sitting up. Twenty five minutes to get ready before Michael picks him up. Twenty five minutes to get his shit together.

 

“Okay, Jeremy, get up. Get up and put some fucking clothes on,” he muttered. “You don’t wanna make Mike wait.”

 

The thought of annoying Michael seemed to work, because ten minutes later Jeremy was already dressed, and all he needed to do was drink some water and possibly go to the toilet before staring at the wall and waiting for his best friend to pick him up.

 

“Hey, abba,” he muttered when he saw his dad downstairs, English seeming too complicated for the time being. Mr. Heere smiled at him, the small gesture managing to calm Jeremy’s racing mind.

 

“Hey, Jeremy.”

 

“I wanna go out now. Ze beseder?”

 

He nodded. “With who?”

 

“Mikha and Christine.”

 

“Okay. Keep your phone close if I call.”

 

“Beseder.”

 

Jeremy went to the kitchen, humming quietly as he poured himself a glass of water. After rinsing his cup he felt a buzz from his phone.

 

**_[4:50pm] M:_ ** _ hey i’m early so i get if you’re not ready but can i enter the house anyway _

**_[4:50pm] J:_ ** _ oh i’m actually ready but sure just enter the house it’s no big _

 

And so he did. The front door opened, revealing a red-faced, shivering Michael.

 

“Hey, Mr. Heere.”

 

“Michael, it’s been almost 13 years, you know you can call me Moshe, right?”

 

He nodded. “Yeah, but.. It’s kind of weird to  _ not  _ call you Mr. Heere. Sorry.”

 

Moshe chuckled. “God, you sure are something.”

 

Jeremy already left the kitchen, standing near the wall as his dad and Michael had a quick chat until Michael noticed him.

 

“Jer! Hey! It’s kind of freezing outside. Take a coat. I already texted Christine about it.”

 

Jeremy nodded. “Okay. Need one too?” 

 

“I got used to the cold already, I’m fine-”

 

“So yes. Gotcha.”

 

Michael sighed softly, but Jeremy didn’t miss the smile on his face. The way his flushed nose scrunched lightly, crinkles appearing next to his eyes. Jeremy smiled too, going back to grab two coats, both a few sizes too big on him. He wore the smaller one, giving the bigger one to Michael as he returned. Their fingers brushed as Michael took the coat, and Jeremy jumped back. 

 

“ _ You’re freezing!  _ You’re basically never cold!”

 

Michael let out a short laugh. “Yeah, well, why do you think I told you to grab a coat?”

 

“Why did you go out without a coat?”

 

“Because.. I didn’t know it will be so cold?”

 

“After you left the house.”

 

“I just couldn’t bother, Jer.”

 

Jeremy sighed. “Fine.” He turned to his dad. “We’re leaving, bye, abba!”

 

“Bye, ben!”

 

Only after they left the house and got into the car, Jeremy seating in the back to not make Christine feel left out, Jeremy noticed Michael’s grin.

 

“Whatcha smiling about?”

 

“I love Hebrew. It’s such a pretty language, Jer, I can’t wait until the day I can actually speak it and not just understand it.”

 

Jeremy smiled too. “Yeah. God, I love Hebrew, Mikha.”

 

“You miss Israel when you’re away, right?”

 

“I really do.”

 

He nodded slightly. “I get you. I miss the Philippines, too. But I don’t think I’d go back to living there, if I ever got the chance. I hate Jersey sometimes, but.. It has too many good stuff to miss.”

 

“Yeah. I know the feel.”

 

Michael started driving. “Can you turn on something calm?”

 

“Mhm.” Jeremy took Michael’s phone, turning on Dodie’s first EP.

 

“Would you go back to Israel if you had the chance?” Michael asked around the end of the next song. “Like. To live there.”

 

“I don’t think so. I love Israel with my entire heart, Mikha, I really do, but like you said, there’s too much in Jersey to just leave it all.”

 

Small drops started appearing on the windows. Michael cursed quietly.

 

“We have a 15 minute drive after we pick up Chris, God fucking damn it. Couldn’t the rain wait a bit?”

 

“It’s nice,” Jeremy mumbled. “I love rain.”

 

“I know,” Michael said, his voice softening up. “And so do I, but not when I’m driving. Text Christine we’re here, by the way.” He parked the car near her house, wiping the front window. Jeremy did, smiling when he saw her leave the house and quickly run to the car. He moved a seat, letting her sit in his previous place when she opened the door.

 

“Hey, guys!”

 

“Hey, Chris,” Michael said, smiling towards her. Jeremy pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. 

 

“Hey.”

 

She smiled, leaning on him slightly as Michael started driving. “Tell me when to turn, okay?” He asked. Christine nodded.

 

“Didn’t expect it to rain. I would’ve cancelled if it started sooner, but this was really last moment, sorry, guys,” she said, leaning slightly on Jeremy.

 

“Oh, don’t apologize, it’s cool. We’re gonna be inside anyway,” Michael answered, a small smile on his face. 

 

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah, exactly. It’s all good.” 

 

It seemed to convince Christine, cause soon enough she was smiling. “Okay. I’m glad. Hope you guys like the place as much as I do!”

 

“I’m sure we will,” Jeremy answered, voice as soft as the smile on his face.

 

Michael was silent the entire ride, only humming responses when Christine gave him directions. Jeremy noticed and he wanted to ask him about it, but also didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. He felt kind of hopeless, but tried not to show it. He didn’t want to ruin the mood.  _ Maybe Michael is just focusing on driving in the rain, _ he thought. 

 

Or hoped. 

 

More like hoped. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> abba - dad  
> ze beseder? - is it okay?  
> ben - son
> 
>  
> 
> hope you liked the chapter :) comments are super appreciated!
> 
> ft. a nod to hailey's (connormurphweed on tumblr) esl jer au

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all for reading, and i hope you enjoyed it! <3 feel free to leave a kudos and a comment if you did!


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